


I Promised I'd Never Leave You

by cuddlylams (orphan_account)



Category: Hamilton - Fandom
Genre: Character Death, Ghost Sex, History, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Smut, ghost!John, mainly fluff, small about of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 18:26:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11213718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cuddlylams
Summary: John Laurens died, but he still wasn't gone. John could still see everyone around him, but only one person in the whole world could see him.





	I Promised I'd Never Leave You

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

John was dead. But yet, he still existed.   
He couldn't phase through items like he always thought ghosts were able to do. He was still human- kinda, except for the fact that no one could see him. But that's what hurt John the most. He could see everyone, everything that he had loved... yet to them he didn't exist. Either that or he just had t tried seeing if the right people saw him. He couldn't bare to go see Alexander because if he couldn't see him, that was endgame for John. That name.  
That name still set off sparks in John's mind. That had to mean something. Were ghosts even supposed to feel? But no- John wasn't a ghost, he had already convinced himself of that. 

He didn't know what he was. He was just... a being. Like he had something to accomplish before he could be a ghost. It had to do with Alexander- John knew that. John desperately missed him as well. He wanted to see him, be with him.   
"Maybe it won't be so bad." he thought, kicking a rock that was at his feet. He was wearing his boots. In fact, he was all dressed up in blue and gold. It was the uniform that always brought him most pride. Afterall, it's where he had found his home. Twice. He found the battlefield, which he had quickly fallen in love with; and he had found his Alexander. His lovely Alexander. It wasn't allowed. No matter how hard John wished and wished, he and Alex could never wed. Their relationship- forever a secret. John and Alex had decided a long time ago that they were content with that. No one else needed to know about them. 

So that's they way they kept it.

John took a shakey breath, looking at Alex's house. It looked so small and lonely. A small light in only one window, radiating from a candle. It was from Alex's study. John still remembered their house like the back of his hand. Not like he could ever forget it anyway. Their friends would always call it the bachelor house. Alex and John always had to stop from laughing at that name. John would always glare at the speaker of those words, trying once again not to laugh,

"Too bad you're sitting where Alex and I totally fucked last night." he thought. 

Even now it brought a smirk to John's lips. 

He walked up to the door, knocking hesitantly. He wasn't expecting much. But the door flung open.   
John almost fell backwards at the motion, his eyes wide. 

Alex'a eyes were red, his hair disheveled on the top of his head. He sniffled and made eye contact with John.

"J-John...?" Alex asked, bewildered. He had to be dreaming. He shut his eyes hard and then looked at John again, trailing his eyes up and down. 

"Holy fuck..." he whispered, stepping forward. Alex went to place his hand on John's shoulder, only to have it pass right through. It didn't seem to phase either of them. 

"My John..." Alex said warmly. 

"My Alexander." John replied, smiling wide. John was crying. He wanted to pull Alexander into him. He wanted to kiss him and run his fingers through his hair. Though he was too afraid to try. Scared that he'd pass right through Alex if he even got near him.

"John... John please don't cry." Alex whispered,  
"I'm right here, you're right here. We're right here." 

"What if I can't t-touch you, or hug or kiss you Alexander, what if I can't even hold your hand." he choked.

Alex looked at him sadly, shaking his head,  
"John- we'll figure this out, I promise. Just- just come inside... please. You're home John. You're home."

John whimpered, running into Alex's arms. He didn't pass through him. Alexander was warm. The touch didn't feel normal, or even natural. It was odd, but it worked. That's all that mattered,

"I love you." John whisipered, tears staining his cheeks. 

Alex took a deep breath, wrapping his arms around John. It was weird- Alex could feel him and see him but his hands wouldn't identify John. They were grasping desperately at what John was. 

Alexander didn't need to know.

John was there with him, that's what mattered. No matter what John was, Alex still loved him the same. Nothing could ever changed that. 

"J-John? Can I ask you something?" Alex asked softly, humming when he felt John nod his head. 

"Can anyone else see you?" 

John looked up, looking Alex straight in the eyes. Those eyes. The eyes that were the first thing he saw when he woke up on a cot in the midst of the war. That was how John and Alex met. John had been ill and retired to the his tent. General Washington must've asked Alexander to watch over him.   
From then on Alexander would always watch over him.

"I-I... I don't think so." He said quietly, still refusing to look away. Maybe he thought if he looked away he would disappear. John was so unsure.   
Alexander just gave a small nod,

"Let's leave it that way then huh?" He laughed lightly. John couldn't help but join him. That is, until he had Alexander pinned to the wall. He kissed him desperately, clinging onto him as if he might just dissapear under his fingers. Alexander's breathing was heavy and uneven, little whimpers escaping his throat. 

"You ever get fucked by a ghost before?" John smirked, making Alexander laugh again.

"Of course not, but there's a first for everything." He pulled his hair out of the bun it was in, letting it fall down to his shoulders. 

"Fuck.." John moaned, pulling Alex's coat off his shoulders. The rest of his clothes followed. Once they were both naked, Alex pulled John into their bedroom. He was flushing hot under John's touches. He was pushed onto the bed, John quickly crawling on top of him. He kissed down his neck as he lined his cock up, slowly pushing into him. Alex cried out, digging his fingers into John's biceps. He could feel it, all of it, and it almost made him cry. John fell into an old rythem as if this was all normal. The truth was, it felt no different to them. It was just like old times. Alex's moans filled the room, ringing through John's ears and making his cock twitch.   
One round wasn't enough for them. It wasn't until they were beyond exhausted, having lost track of how many times they had came that John finally collapsed into Alex's side. He curled into him, letting his arm rest on his torso.

"John?" Alexander asked quietly,

"Yeah baby?" John asked in reply,

"I love you."

"I love you too Alexander."

"You'll never leave me again?" 

"I'll stay with you forever Alex. Forever and always."


End file.
